I cockslap morals
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
