I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
