found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize