the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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