A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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