how can u be prego again
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
