wanna go halves on a baby?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize