bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
