After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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