okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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