Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
