I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
