I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize