I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
