i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
