she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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