11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
