there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There r osticjed everywhere
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
