i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
