don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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