Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
