week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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