You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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