His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
