Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
