Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
