Non-Jews are for practice
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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