Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
