AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
