I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
