i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
