lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize