if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
