there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
