he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
