I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
