At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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