1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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