Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
