Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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