how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize