FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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