I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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