carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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