Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
