don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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