Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
