i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
why do cheetos always look like penises
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
