she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
