i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
