I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
