I look better un-naked...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
