I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
