I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You're a waste of cheezeits
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
