Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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