There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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