Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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