I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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