Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
