Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
barbara walters just said penis...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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