I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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