I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
