Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
