I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
nutella sex= disaster
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
