i don't like sucking hair
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
