Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
