can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize